Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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