if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I hate your face
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
