just tell him i said nine months
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
