and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
