I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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