what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
