Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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