I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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