remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize