am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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