so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
