My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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