You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize