Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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