Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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