Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
