Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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