I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
