i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
