you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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