i need an iv and a liver transplant
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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