I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She announced her abortion via fbk
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
