You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
