And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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