hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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