Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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