it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
