if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
