I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
