well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize