She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
