so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
