is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
