I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Congratulations! We have a period
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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