its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
