I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
