i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
