I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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