We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
