Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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