John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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