I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
