yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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