it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
