I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
