Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
