I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
