you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
