she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
