my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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