you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
