You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
