so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
