guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
