hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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