Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
