I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
