She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
