the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
