By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My penis needs a shock collar
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
