So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
