He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
