on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
