So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize