in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
