I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
