If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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