Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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