I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
