Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize