I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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