i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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