Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
