gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
