What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
