we have officially lost it.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
