I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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