You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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