dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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