Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
