my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
