I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
